Shattered Glass, Mercy and Over-Sleeping

Not sure if this is an allowed activity, but as I am writing this Titus is noisily gnawing on the table leg. Wow, he is really going at it, grunting and everything as he chews. I told him to stop, but he just stared at me for a moment, and I swear he rolled his eyes before he turned back and again preceded his enjoyed act of attacking the leg with his huge mouth!

Today is my last day house-sitting for the Harvey's. I am kind of sad. Am I going to miss the cat....certainly not! Will I miss the dogs? Doubt it (I do have two dogs of my own at home). Am I going to miss being alone...so very alone? No, the house does feel pretty empty sometimes. But I am going to miss this freedom. I feel like an adult. Like I'm a little kid playing house! I get to be responsible to take care of myself and animals! I feed the dogs and the cat, and myself. I run the house....I feel so grown up! And tomorrow I go back to being a kid. At home I still feed myself, I clean up around the house, I feed the dogs and take them for daily walks and am even privileged enough to clean up their dung! But it's different, and I like being on my own. One day. . . .

I don't have my own car here. Mom and Dad (and Robb, don't wanna leave you out) said they would pick me up at 9:15 for church, since Dad needs to be there by 9:20. No problemo, right? I showered last night and put my hair in braids so no work necessary with it in the morning, and I planned to get up at 7:30 to give myself plenty of time to get ready, take care of the animals, do my devotions, and dog-proof the house before heading out for church. But I had the space heater on pretty high right next to me (I like to be really warm), and I think I got a little too cozy because when my alarm went off at 7:20, I tried to hit the snooze but couldn't find it (not my clock), and so turned it off and was back asleep instantaneously!!! Yea, I was out pretty hard, so was confused when Titus was barking. I was wondering why he was barking so early in the morning, and couldn't seem to remember what day it was. Oh, right. Saturday, work day today. Wait, no. That sounds too familiar, oh that's because I already lived that day! Today is Sunday! Sunday. . . .I have to get ready. What time is it? I fell back asleep. . . . .AAAAHHHHH! It's 9:35!!! Drat! So I realized that Titus was barking because my ride was knocking on the door! Gasp.....why did I have to oversleep! Ugh! I sprang out of bed and bolted for the door to find Robb there with his jaw hanging open when he saw that I was adorned in striped pj's, messy hair, and sleeping mask pushed up on forehead! I tried to speak, but my voice was gone and upon opening the door, it was all I could do to utter the words "oh no! Go get Mom! I need Mom!!!" So Mom comes to the door and is likewise puzzled and taken aback by my new look. No, I am not trying to start a "just-out-of-bed" trend. I JUST WOKE UP!!! And yet surprisingly, panic does not grip me. I remain calm...I don't know how....yes I do....God's grace! So I ran into the bathroom, put toothpaste on my toothbrush on began brushing while I ran into the kitchen and pulled down the dogs medicine so I could feed them. Titus takes a couple pills in his food, Calvin is older thus needs more (I mean a LOT more pills with each of his two meals) and so his pills must be stuffed into a marshmallow and thrown into his food dish. So I turn 'round and go to the jar that holds the marshmallows and grab the top to take the lid off. I give it a tug, but the lid stays in place and the front of the glass jar breaks and goes flying at me and across the floor! Ugh, not what I need at this hurried moment! So I bend over and start to pick up the fragments of jar, but Mom takes over for me while I finish getting the dogs food and she also helps by getting them water! Phew! Two down, one animal to go! I grab the cat food out of the fridge and throw some onto the plate and send Robb into the closet to lay it out for him. There is no way I would be able to jump the baby-gate that is in the doorway in my pencil skirt (I did change somewhere in there, no I don't sleep in a pencil skirt!). So I grab my makeup bag and the rest of my affects and scurry out the door, leaving the slobbery canines and hissy feline behind! Thankfully, God has blessed me with merciful parents and they were understanding and forgiving....I honestly think it helps that my voice was gone! People are so much more merciful when you sound like you're dying!~

Really Big Slide!!!

Well tonight I am on my own.....in an empty house in Pomona. Yep. But it's okay, the doors are locked and the doggy door is blocked off, but I honestly don't think those are necessary precautions. I think I may feel secure in this unfamiliar house all by myself in the middle of the night not because I have 2 amazingly humongous guard-dogs...no! Because I have the cat from, well, not heaven, that's for sure! For serious folks, this cat is not to be messed with! It is a hissing, innocent-house-sitter-mauling beast! Goes by the name of Fletch, but I think it's really Legion.

I am house sitting for the Harveys from this afternoon (Thursday) until Sunday night. Yep, 'tis pretty exciting. I have the place all to myself, and I am enjoying that so far, I guess. It does feel slightly empty, even with their 2 huge and overly friendly dogs Calvin and Titus, but it is kind of fun. And tomorrow night my lil' sis' and I are having a girls night, and I'm pretty stoked for that! Candy, soda, girl movie, games, the works! It'll be stellar!
And wow, these are the biggest dogs I have ever seen. Calvin looks more like a big, dopey bear than a dog, and supposedly he is quite small for his breed. And Titus is an American Bulldog, and is likewise HUGE, but I guess he is large for his breed. I don't know about all that, I just know I have never seen a bigger dog, well, not with my own eyes at least.

Hm, so last night some friends and I finger-painted, which was so cool! I haven't finger painted for about a year, and so it was fun to paint again! Oh and then we drove on the wild side and got lost, and then were really dangerously cool and went through the Jack-In-the-Box drive-through backwards, and covered in paint (how'd that happen?). Oh yea, we're bad. Then we watched Lady in the Water, and honestly I was disappointed. I've seen it before, and for some reason was remembering it as being scary. But I was not scared at all last night! And I only jumped once during the movie! It was still good, just not as thrilling as I remembered. It's like going back to your elementary school playground to see the "Really Big Slide", and the "Super High Fire-Man Pole" that everyone was scared to slide down, it was so high. But you go back and the slide lasts about 1 second, and you get no rush from it at all, and you have to scoot your way down it because you don't slide all the way to the bottom. Then you run over to the pole, and it's not all that high. In fact, by simply reaching your hand up (and maybe standing a little on tip-toe for some of us, including me!), you can touch the top! You try sliding down it, but your feet touch the bottom before you can even think about enjoying it! It's not that this visit to your old playground has ruined all of your child-hood memories there, but they are maybe not so exciting and adventurous as they were before. That is how it was watching the movie last night. I still enjoyed the movie, I still like it. But is it as cool as I thought? No, it's not. I am left slightly disappointed. Some things are better left remembered. . . .

Swords, Cookies, and ADHD

So I just took a quiz to see if I have ADHD. Just something random that Matt told me to take. And here is my result!!!


Pretty funny, I guess I can kind of see it. I mean I have a lot of trouble focusing sometimes, mostly with my train of thought. I always thought that I was just lazy and unmotivated, but that actually makes sense! It's a real quiz, too, from a psych care place! I scored 23, which is really high, since 16 and up is considered possibly serious ADHD, I am on the high end of serious! Haha! So according to them I could have a sever condition, but I have lived with it for 19 years and it's no big deal to me, so I think I can continue to cope. And it's not a diagnosis, just a fun quiz! I pretty much don't care! I would never put myself through the trauma of going to the doctors evil lair, just so they can stress me out with tests, and put me on some pills....as if I need another addiction!!!

So last night was super fun! Robb and I hung out with Matt and Lauren, and that was colossal as always!! They came to our house and we ate dinner then went to Montclair Plaza. We wanted to got to Victoria Gardens, but it was waaaay too cold! So we opted for an indoor mall. While there, we went to the Disney Store, and it was so exciting!!! We found THE PERFECT wedding dress for Lauren. It was a Giselle dress, from Enchanted, the wedding dress she has from cartoon world. It looked beautiful on her! And we found a really cute HSM cheer leading costume for Matt. Then we went to the back of the store where this lovely and huge mound of stuffed animals was piled high greeting us and screaming JUMP ON ME!!! I thought about it, but decided against the jump. Matt however couldn't help it, and leaped onto the mound, only to land on a hard surface and find out it was not a mound of animals, they were just one layer of them stacked on a platform, ouch! Haha!
Then we went into Elements of Earth, and that was pretty cool! I love those stores, they're so much fun! The swords are so cool, and I love the fountains, the aroma therapy, the odd figurines, and the random wigs and tassles! So much fun! The girl working there had quite the mouth on her and was hitting on Matt, although I don't know if he noticed, but it was pretty funny! Fun!!
When we first walked past Hollister, we were very abrubtly flashed by the male mannequins that had been, uh, de-pantsed!!! Yep, just standing there, modeling tops-only since the pants had been yanked down to the knees. Pretty awkward, but also hilarious! So our immature selves had a good chuckle at it! Then when we walked past it a second time, there was a teenage guy out front and he was pulling down the rest of the pants, including the female mannequins. So I stopped the group and went over to the kid and said in a mad voice, "Come here!" "What?" He said, and tried to look innocent. I kept telling him and motioning for him to come follow me into the store. "I saw what you did! I'm telling. That's not cool, let's go!". He just kept saying "What?" He was so scared, so finally I told him I was kidding! The relief that flooded over the poor saps face! So funny!! He said he was waiting for me to walk into the store so he could run away! The kid will never undress a statue again, at least not without looking over his shoulder! LOL!
So, that is my excitement! Tomorrow I am helping Lauren make cookies for the rescue mission-our parents Sunday School class is going Saturday night. I am not good in the kitchen, I have been known to cause many accidents and much harm, and my food isn't all that good. But I told her I could measure stuff and stir and clean up, and cheer her on!!! Haha!
That's my contribution!

If

These are some lyrics that I wrote Feb 9, '09. They don't have a tune quite yet, but I am working on it! It's not completely true, but most def inspired by and contrived from a true story!

~IF~

You said that we were best friends, and someday maybe more.
You made my heart come alive like no one had before.
But that was all pretending, you put on such a play!
The things that drew me to you once, now drive me away!

If you had a car, I'd roll it off a cliff!
If you had a house, I'd graffiti my name all over it!
If you sent me flowers, I'd smile as they lit!!!
Even though we're moving on,
I can't let you forget!

I can't believe I fell for that! All your dirty tricks!
I fell under all your spells with a simple finger prick!
But now the magic's over, the truth so hard to miss!
Our love story came crashing down
With Reality's first kiss!

If you'd written me letters, I'd throw them all away!
If you had best friends, that is who I'd date!
If anyone cared, I'd tell them all you're gay!!!
But all I can do is walk away!

Why'd you have to do this? Is it just your way?
You took an awesome friendship,
You had to have it your way! What'd you think I'd say?
Push, and Push,
But in the end you just pushed me far away!
Why me? Why now? Why us?
How could you betray my trust?
But now I'm moving on, moving on,
And I'm not turning around!

If you come back, the answer is NO!
If you ask me to stay, I'm still gonna go!
If you want a second chance, I will leave you alone!
I'm moving on, and I won't turn around!

The Secret of What You Do to Me~

Alright, so yesterday was a super great day at church! We had another split session for Sunday school, and Miriam finished teaching us about Worry from Matthew 6:21-34. It was really good. We do that, especially females. I am really not into profiling or stereo-typing like that, but it's true. As women, we do seem to worry a lot more than men! So the lesson was really helpful!! Always a great challenge! The evening service was moved up to 3 because Pastor and many others were leaving that evening for the Philippines. After the service, we had the LBA cafe and watched a cheesy BJU movie. Well, watched is such a loose term! We talked to whole time! But it was really fun! Then after that, a bunch of us stood around talking for the longest time, even though we'd been kicked out of the building and it was freezing outside! So Matt, Lauren, Sandra, Ricky, Robb and I all went to In & Out, then Barnes and Noble. When we walked in, we walked past those security scanners that are at most places now, but for some reason, I set the alarms crazy! Kind of weird, so just shrugged and walked past. Then we walked into the back section, and through more scanners, and again, alarms go nuts! They asked if we had been shopping at Old Navy or had any Old Navy on. The answer was no. I guess Old Navy has a security thing in their clothing that sets off their alarms, but I had none of that brand on. So again, just shrugged. Then I was about to go look at some books, and had to walk past again. This was the first time I had walked through alone, so I thought maybe it would turn out I was not the cause of the alarms, but no! They go crazy again! Then a while later when we left, they again go insane! We died laughing! I still have no idea why, but Ricky suggested that maybe it was the braces! LOL!!!
After that, we still had time to kill, so we went to Wal-Mart, oh yes. Major hot-spot! So we hung out in there, and found some stellar glasses for Matt (he thought they were too big, though, but I think he liked the pink sparkles), and a really stellar pink pandora for Ricky! They looked so cool! Yea, so that was my day! It was really fun!

So I have decided to post some poetry! I wrote this poem December 3rd of '08. I hadn't let people read it, but have decided it's okay to share. I wrote it at school, it's the only thing I wrote all semester, besides homework, that is! Haha!

~The Secret of What You Do to Me~

Deep, dark, hidden inside.
Secrets kept even from my own eyes.
In my heart of hearts, I held onto this truth.
But it never reached the surface of my conscious mind.

When you keep secrets as long as I, you become a pro, a wiz, a master of disguise!
I turned the lock, and threw away the key,
But over time, it's whereabouts where even hidden to me!

Oh which way did my heart go? Which road did it take?
I was content with my resolve, then you jolted me awake!
What happened to the wall that took so long to build?
What I thought was made up firmly of bricks,
You blew over like a house of sticks.

Not sure how, but with the clocks slow ticking hand,
You've disarmed me as tide to the sand.
Afraid to trust again, I knew I couldn't let you in.
No! I wouldn't be hurt again!
But as the tide insistently, relentlessly crashes on the sand,
And washes away the tired, outer layers,
So you came into my life, nad pushed your way into my inner soul.
You waltzed right in, unbeknownst to me,
Bringing my false, naive security crashing down to it's knees!
(Never to be fully restored)

Do you even know? Would it matter at all?
Or did I scare you away with my untrusting wall?
Look down at what you're holding, in your hands.
Do you see it? It's small, nothing great or grand.
But it's my heart, nad you're holding it,
And to be honest, it hurts!!!
My heart bleeds everytime you leave me to go flirt!
I know I say I don't care, but you see,
I still have to hide.
The secret of what you do to me must stay locked up inside.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I am Going to Marry Batman!!!

Soul winning was this morning. It went really good, but was pretty cold outside! But praise the Lord it was not raining this morning! The sun was even out! It's been pouring rain since Thursday, and was supposed to be today as well, but it was not as cold as it has been, and no rain! It was such a blessing, because there is no way we would have been able to be door-knocking in the weather we've had for the past couple of days. And an hour or so after door-knocking, the rain started coming down again, so God was sooooo merciful to give us good weather! I love the rain, but am not super thrilled about the idea of spending a couple hours of the morning walking around while it pours!!! But I must say, that although it didn't have the same rain smell as usual, the air smelled so nice and fresh, and I could smell all the flowers and grass!! Blue skies, smiling at me.....nothing but blue skies, do I see.......


After soulwinning, Robb and I went over to my twins house. We had such a great time! We made some lunch, and had some ice cream, it was so good! Then Matt and I got into a slipper war! But let the record show, Matt started it, as always! :) I was in the kitchen, when a slipper whizzed past my head! It almost took my head off!! LOL!!! So then we were fighting over the slippers and then tossing them at each other. It was fun! He's just lucky he didn't break anything though, he kept throwing the slipper in really bad places, and there were repeated BANG's and CRASHes! But good times! We watched the Dark Knight, and I am the only one of us who has not seen it! I know, you may think I am not a good Batman fan, but it's not my fault! I spent last summer working at a camp in CO where I didn't even have cell reception, let alone access to the summer flicks! Then I went to Bible College, need I say anymore? Haha! So I was not able to see it before now, and I have to say.......STELLAR!!! I loved it! Absolutely superb, in my opinion! After that, we just hung out and goofed around. Robb and Matt wrestled, Matt got to point his gun at us, and show off all his knives and his toy-box, I tormented Lauren with my camera, good times! We had a really great time, and will hopefully be getting together next week, right Twin 1???

Then, I got back home and my parents, I just have to say, are wonderful! There is a plate of Chinese food (my favorite in the whole galaxy), and a cuppa tea sitting there just waiting for me to gulp it all up! And they rented Prince Caspian for us to watch together tonight! And until this afternoon, I have not watched a movie for uh, a really long time! When I watch something, it's always a TV show, not a whole movie! So I think the last movie I watched was in early January! It was so weird to watch a program that lasted for over an hour! And this movie was especially long! But so worth it, of course!!!
So, I think we will leave it at that! I had a super great day, and now get to spend a fun evening with my family! So goodnight all!

Well, I must say that today has been pretty stellar!!!

It is pouring rain outside, and because of that, I was feeling kind of lazy. But I got up this morning, exercised, did my devotions and some other work, played on my computer. I really didn't have much to do for the day, and since I got up super early---in vain---yesterday, I decided to take it slow and easy today and I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I did not accomplish much other than the rest of my planning and preparation for RU Kidz tonight, but sometimes we all just need a day to kick back and take things slowly. And it was very nice! It was only Mom and I here, and so the TV was off, there were no loud men, no trash, no clutter, no empty soda cans on the coffee table. Everything was so peaceful, and everything was so neat and clean, just the way we like it! Very nice!

I came to a decision today. A resolve. I am filled with determination! I feel like I can't get into too many details, but there was a relationship in my life, that had taken a very disappointing turn. As I had written in here already, someone I thought was my friend has hardly been one. Come to think of it, the only worse friends I've had were 3 "friends" that were in my youth group in high school and they made fun of me and lied about me behind my back! And this person has not been that bad, but for someone that is supposed to be my friend, no worst, best friend, there has been so much gunk! And even though I will still be a friend to this person, that's all I can be. I am filled with resolve that if I ever hear from this person again, I will respond as a friend, nothing more! Because this is not the kind of relationship that is healthy, for serious! I don't want to go into details, I am not even sure why I am posting this! But it's 1 in the morning and I have been with kids all night, and maybe I had a soda and candy and ice cream and cake too late into the night, who's to say??? But the point is, that me and this person and are not me and this person anymore! I am filled with resolve and determination, and through much prayer and counsel from my mom and grandma (who's counsel I greatly value), am sure this is the right decision and God has given me peace about it! Even when I told my dad, he agreed that it was the right choice! This person has been treating me badly, and I have finally awakened and become aware of it. Took me long enough, but I got the picture eventually! Ignorance is bliss, and I almost preferred it before I knew who this one really was. This is someone I have spent countless hours with, and really care about, and who said they cared about me as well, and yet, the proof is in the pudding, and lately there hasn't even been any pudding to proof (what? Go to bed, Jane!). And it does hurt a little bit that I am the only loyal one in dumb thing, and that the care I feel for this one is not felt by and for both parties. But that's what happens with self-absorbed people. I have a knack for finding the self-absorbed ones! This person cares for self more than they ever could care for me! So this is good. This is healthy, and necessary, and I am glad to be moving on with my life! Yep! I am, truly! And I am not really upset about it, these are facts, and it's been coming for a while. I am woman, hear me roar! You can't phase me I'm the Ginger.....wait, no, wrong story! Okay, and maybe that is not entirely true. If I think about it, this makes me very sad. To lose a dear friend and realize I bought right into a pack of lies. That does hurt a lot, so I dont' think about it that way. I instead think of the cankur I am ridding myself of! LOL!!! But this is good. Extremely good. And very healthy! Yep!

RU Kidz was tubular tonight! Raphael, Matt and I each wore all black, and we looked really cool! It showed our authority and uniformity and stellarority!!! Yea, it was far-out for sure! I was so nervous for tonight! I was bracing myself for a really rough night, but our night-mare children were not there tonight! God is so Good! I feel really bad saying that, because I want them to come. But when this one child in particular is there, no one gets anything out of the night, because he creates havoc and we can't even play a game because there is pandemonium! But he wasn't there tonight, so the night went by so smoothly! I couldn't believe it. The kids were so well-behaved, the 3 of us were an amazing team of leaders (all in black), and it was a ton of fun! And I am starting some specified rules, written by yours-truly, just for them! Tonight I came up with 3, right on the spot. #1: "Thou shalt not complain when thou art singing." They always complain about the songs I pick, at least one person will complain about each one, I can't please every one, even though I have been trying hard to. So I just made that rule up, and it worked, and I am wondering why I didn't make it sooner! #2: "Thou shalt not complain when thou breathest!". Then we moved on with the program, and one little kid in particular was still complainging a lot, and I realized, Jane, if you can make a rule that says no complaining during songs, can't you make one that eliminates complaining for ever? Which I could, I did, and it was the best rule yet! #3: "Thou shalt be silent when thou are summoned to be so!". And yes, I know summoned means called. But I really like that word, and in trying to speak in Ye Old English Terms, I used that word, Hannah wrote it down as a commandment, and so "summoned" stays! But these rules worked beautifully, and so I am going to finish writing the Sacred Commandments of RU Kidz this week, and put them on a neon poster-board and hang it in class every Friday! It's stellar! Or at least it will be! Oh, and it was so cute! We were playing Fruit Basket Mix Up, and little Joy was in the middle. For those of you who don't know this little sweetie, she is 5, and just the cutest, funniest little thing! So it's her turn, and we tell her to call out a fruit name. So she enthusiastically begins pointing to people and saying "Apple, Banana, Orange, Apple, Banana....." just as she had seen me done a few minutes before. But we say, no Joy, just say ONE! So she nods, and again does the same thing! So I tell her, No Joy! Just say "APPLE" and I yell it out! So she smiles big and is so excited, and says, yelling now, "APPLE, BANANA, ORANGE, APPLE....." and still continues to point to people! Oh, it was the cutest thing I have seen in a long time! I think the only thing that's topped it so far is Ethan, her little brother, counting to ten last week, now that was cute! So finally everyone just decided that since she was calling off all the fruit, it must be a fruit basket upset! So everyone ran around, found a seat, and applauded the now-seated Joy for doing the best job in the middle!! So great!

So that is my exciting night! It was very fun! I have soul-winning in the morning, and then I am hanging out with my twin and our two siblings (that are not related to each other in any way besides the Family of God). So I am pretty stoked for the day which now starts in a few hours, so I really should go to sleep! Goodnight everyone and thanks for reading!

Lions, Pirates, and Bats OH MY!!!!

Well today has been really stellar, and it's only half-way through! Of course, my day started early this morning, much earlier than it had to! The LBA Lions had a basketball tournament in Long Beach all day today, so my family and I were driving down there. We had to be at the church at 7, which meant leaving at the blessed hour of 6:30, which of course would be more blessed if still asleep, rather than up and about! But we piled into the car and went off down the 210! We were driving along, when dad suggests to Robb that he call someone to let Coach know that we may be there a little bit after 7, and not to leave without us! So Robb calls Ryan, who is still asleep at Tommy's house, and he informs Robb that they are not meeting at the church until 9. So Robb calls Coach and as it turns out, the tournament has been cancelled and they only have one game in Long Beach today, which we do not have to leave for until 9 from the church. At this point, we are at Fruit St, which is our exit for La Verne. So we just make a U-turn (after exiting the free-way of course!) and head home. Oh well! So I got some extra time in my Bible, which was a blessing, and then was able to watch a couple minutes of the Office before heading back out into the rain and over in La Verne for Round 2!!! Robb got out and hopped onto the Magic School Bus (did anyone else watch that show growing up???) and Matt Wright came and rode down with us. I had convinced him and Raphael to go so we could have a very important RU Kidz staff meeting.
Last week in RU Kidz was very very rough, so we really needed to get together and sort things out, since we are all new to this! And Matt and I have gotten to know each other a little bit on Facebook, but have not really talked in person much yet, so it was fun to hang out today. And I know this may not come as much of a suprise to some of you since we look a lot alike, but in contemplation of the matter, Matt and I have come to the great realization that we are related! We are not sure how yet, but there is a definite family connection. And he and even Lauren have so sweetly welcomed me into the family! It is so nice to get some family connections in the church, I always knew I was Filipino deep down inside!!! But we had a great time exchanging near-death experiences and funny stories on the way down to Long Beach, and it made the trip very enjoyable! We watched the first half of the game, which honestly was not going too well.

Then at half-time, Raphael, Matt and I went outside to have our first very important grown up business-like top-priority RU Kidz meeting. Last week was so rough. It was the first week we were all in there together, and we had some new kids, and honestly, the night left us feeling beat up. We are lucky to make it through alive! I believe that during the week, some of the children may have been planning a mutany. So, to make sure nothing of the sort happens, the 3 of us devised a plan to conquer the galaxy!!!! Muhahahahahahaha! Okay, so the plan is not completed yet, but we're in Phase 1 of the devising! It is going to be super stellar, but we're not quite there yet. But it's coming along, and one day soon, the 3 of us will truly be an unstoppable force of leaders and rule the world (or at least RU Kidz!) :)!!! The meeting left me very excited!!! We talked outside for a while....all the way through half-time and made it back inside with a minute left of the 4th quarter, and we were forced inside by the rain. It took all that time to accomplish what we did because, and I am serious when I say this, I believe we all have ADD. One of us has been diagnosed with it, and the other two have not, but by the symptons, it's a pretty safe bet. But we are going to be an awesome team of leaders! Unstoppable! Like the 3 pirates, or 3 ninja's, or 3 muskateers, or wait, no....better!!.......Batman, Robin, and Batgirl! Whoo Hoo!!! Yes, there we go! I guess that would make me Batman, lol! So I am very excited because we have great plans in the works, and I think, with God's help, we are going to put together a great program! We are very excited and I think we will work great together! God has a way of bringing people together, and we all work good together, so I am super psyched! This is going to be psychadelic!!!

Oh, yea, and by the time we got back into the gym, the game had a minute left. The game ended 62-48, Long Beach won. But, you have to give our team props! They did a good job against this team. It's not like these are little pansies we're up against. They are Cambodian (which must count for something, right?), and they also have the fact that their coach is Hitler! I mean, these kids don't play any sports besides basketball, and they live and breathe it! As soon as the game was up and their post-game-meeting was over, they were running laps and practicing! Now that's intense!!! No wonder they're so good! Man alive! But our boys did good, and had a good attitude! I am proud of them!!!!

Well, I think that is about it. I have a few things to do before church tonight. I am helping in Kings Kids tonight and am excited about that. I really love working with kids and teens, so I am really thankful for every opportunity I get to help out in these areas!!!

Relationships for Dummies

Oh wait, I looked it up on Google (my fave toy!), and look what I found (this only makes sense if you read my last blog)!!!

Brain Boggler

People boggle my mind. My thoughts are jumbled and confused. My reality got stuffed into a blender and then poured back into my brain, making a big, confusing mess!

The problem with being a girl, is that I think with my emotions. It's true. Girls, you know exactly what I'm talking about! I know, you guys are probably thinking, "No way! I have never met an emotional female! All the girls I know are calm, realistic, and never run on emotions or have a single mood-swing!". But, no, it's true. I know we females hide it so very well, but I must admit, that we are emotional! And in this case, I am not talking about crying, or being sad. I am talking about having flip-flopping feelings. Which of course, my feelings on a situation are different today than yesterday, the problem lies in decision making. When I, as a female, act impulsively. Which I do not want to stereo-type this, but it's true, women just act impulsively based on present emotion, and most men I know do not! So although I usually resent stereo-types, in this case it is true. A situation was brought to the fore-front of my attention yesterday, and when I realized it, I was so angry!!! But today, my feelings have calmed down a lot. I am frustrated, but my feelings are turning into independence and a look at the possibility of cutting off the source of my emotional stress. I am just so thankful that this time, I have NOT acted on any of the emotions that have been buzzing through my confused brain! Which in the past, with this same person that is currently causing me grief, I have acted impulsively twice. One time it was okay, and the other time......not so okay, actually. But that's a different story that will not be shared on this blog! But, my issue: oh, so difficult. I have a friend that is hardly being a friend at all. And I am confused! We saw each other last Monday, and it's been over a week, and still no word! I was told by this person that we would be emailing as we had before we saw each other, but no contact has been made, and because of complicated reasons, I cannot email this person, but must first be emailed, then may respond! Ugh! Why am I even putting this on here? Well, I'm not sure. But I am venting, so just nod your head and smile, if you are confused! How could you not be? I am confused! All my other school friends have called, texted, emailed, talked online, anything! This person is one of my very best friends, but lately has not been acting like a friend at all. Makes me wonder how close we actually were. If out of sight means out of mind, how close could we actually be? Even before we saw each other last Monday, the emails were few and far between, and it'd been 5 weeks since we'd seen each other. So is it distraction? Or does this person not care as much when I am not around? Or, is there something/someone keeping this person's attention occupied? Some of you may think I am over-reacting, that I am reading into things. But were I not choosing to remain aloof about this, you would understand, furthermore, you would agree and be cheering me on should I decide to send hate-mail or egg this person's house! Which as of right now I am not planning on doing, but you never know! This person has aggravated me by, how do I put this, irresponsible?, selfish?, immature?, hm, maybe just stupid behavior, and I get upset of course, but then there are apologies, and I can't help but forgive, because as I said above, this person is one of my very closest friends, and I deeply care for this one! I just can't stay mad! I would much rather pretend nothing is wrong than start a fight, but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Wow, if this makes no sense, I am sorry, it's just because I am thinking out loud, rather thinking onto my blog! Writing helps me sort through things. But I don't think I am any less confused. The issue is still in existence, and I still have no idea how I really feel about it, what I am going to do, or what the long-term results of this decision may be. Oh, it's so complicated!!

Man, I wish there were a Relationships-for-Dummies 101!!!

The Poet's Mind

I am not a man-hater....I just think this is funny!!!

Vex not thou the poet's mind with thy shallow wit
For thou canst not fathom it
Clear and bright it should be ever Flowing like a crystal river
Clear as light And bright as day
-excerpt from "The Poet's Mind" by Lord Alfred Lloyd Tennyson

I have fallen in love all over again! A love that I had long abandoned by necessity while at college! A strong love, that caused pain when abandoned. But now, being back at home, having more time on my hands and no homework or academic schedule, I am once again a library frequenter!!! This is my second time at the Rancho Cucamonga Archibald library in one week! And it is amazing! At school, I would often go to the library to use the large dictionary, or for a quiet studying sanctum. But it just wasn't the same. The library here is amazing. They have such beautiful organizing. Their rows are so even, their books so broad in genre, so well-kept, so smartly arranged, so many books to choose from! I love it!

This evening my mom and I walked down. From Hermosa to Archibald is only about 3 blocks, not bad at all. It was quite a pleasant walk, very enjoyable. We walked back in the dark, and decided that next time we make this journey, a flash light would be in order! The path was lined by bushes on both sides for a short length of time, and we were quite afraid that there would be a rise in the pavement, and our bare toes would be stubbed on the rough concrete! That is quite painful. Walking along, unsuspecting, minding your own business, when suddenly your toe is smashed against a rise in the sidewalk. Pain starts at your foot and shoots like a screaming banshee out of a cannon up your leg and all the way to the top of your head as you bend at the waist and cry out in pain! Frustration adds to the anger as you question why something so small and seemingly insignificent as a toe can cause such grief, and bring such a breach into your current activity! The top of your toe is skinned, maybe a little blood, and that brings more frustration, now pointed at the concrete slab under your feet. Who put that there! What kind of moron lays concrete uneven like that? Are they purposefully bringing pain on the community? Is the creator of such evil sitting behind some nearby bush, quietly snickering as unnsuspecting passers-by go about their day in a merry manner to have their pleasant life come crashing down as you enter the world of pain and frustration---all from your toe (and of course that stupid side-walk!). But thankfully, both mom and I were saved from so dreadful an experience-although I am sure you have caught on that I am no stranger to this tragedy!

The poem I quoted above is one that I read in a book I checked out last week. It is a collection of poems by my current most beloved poet, Tennyson. I so enjoy his dry wit, thought-provoking topics, and point of view. He can write from so many perspectives. Tennyson has one poem called, All Things Must Die, and another called Nothing Shall Die (I believe that is the title). The words are very similiar, but speak from different perspectives. One in a positive light, the other speaking from a sadder, more cynical view. He has the ability to write from many different sides, can understand the soul of other people that have beliefs and views completely opposite of his own and make his reader understand the character or view as well. A very talented man. I do so enjoy reading his classic works! But I am also reading Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Burns, Robert Frost, William Shakespeare, John Donne, and Langston Hughes. And that is just the poetry. I am also reading the Old Testament, and a teaching book called Ready or Not by Sara Carlson (which I am so highly recommending for single young ladies of any age. This book is getting me through some hard times!). I have such a huge to-read list, yet I continue to borrow books that are not on my list. But I will get to them all eventually. It will just be a slow crawl! But one that I enjoy! I love reading! My ultimate favorite past-time!

I am really wishing I were at school, but things here are great. I really enjoy the church. My class on Friday nights is amazingly great. I love teaching RU Kidz. The college/career group is unbelievably stellar! Beyond compare! I am making some great friends in there, and really enjoy the activities that we do, hanging out every Sunday night, and just fellowshipping with them before and after (not during ;) ) services.

But thankfully I am also able to talk some to my friends at school. Jesse and I have been able to chat a few times this weekend, which always puts a smile on my face, and I have even heard from Kayla pretty frequently, and that is the bees knees! And I have been able to keep in touch with Stephanie, who is more sister than friend we're so close, and that is a blessing! But in a way the internet is cool. Via facebook I am getting to know a ton of people, some that I have never even met in person, or at least we were never close! I am making more friends, it is fun to branch out. Get me out of my comfort zone.

I did some job-searching today. Kohls is supposed to start interviewing next week, so today I brought by my resume and filled out an application. That would be a great job! I went back to Corky's they are frustrating me. I believe that hostessing position is lost to me....actually, I am lost to them! Ha! I went to Montclair Plaza on Friday and handed my resume out to 4 people, 2 of which actually used the rarely heard term "We're Hiring", and one of which would be hiring soon and was so excited about my resume, she said she would pass it up to her general manager pronto! So I am excited and encouraged about what the Lord is going to do. I just know He is going to provide me with a job soon! All in His time......I really pray His time is now! But I am trusting Him. We had a great Sunday school lesson taught just to us girls by Miriam from Matt. 6:22-28 (?) about not worrying! It was a blessing, and a needed reminder and challenge. I need to stop worrying and give it all to God! Truer words were never spoken! Well, maybe not never, but rarely, at least! I think that is it for now. But I do enjoy blogging when I work up the motivation to spend this much time on one activity at once, so I believe I will make it a priority to do it more often.

Love, peace and chicken grease to all!

P.S. Last Saturday, I found out that my favorite flower, being a yellow carnation, means disdain. Obviously, my ears did not enjoy receiving that news. Well, at least Daisies, my second favorite, mean Innocence. And that is pleasant. But I am still disappointed at such an unhappy definition for the former.